Navigating Transition Wisely.

Last fall, even before Hurricane Helene swept through Western North Carolina, my life was already in flux. Big changes in work and life were happening, and uncertainty was a familiar feeling.  Then, even more shifts came along, leaving me in what author Bruce Feiler calls a “lifequake.”

A lifequake is when several major, disruptive events hit at once, shaking up your world and forcing you to adapt. These events can be personal or collective, planned or unexpected. Most of us will experience 3-5 lifequakes in our lifetime. For me, this was my third—the first two happened in my late teens and early 50s. While those times were tough, they shaped who I am today, and for that, I’m grateful.

If you’re going through a big transition (or feel one coming), I highly recommend Bruce Feiler’s TED Talk. I came across it during my Transition Intelligence certification program with the Modern Elder Academy. His talk breaks down transitions into three clear stages and offers insights on how to navigate them.

The 3 Stages of Transition

According to Feiler, transitions follow three phases:

1. Long Endings – Letting go of what’s no longer working.

2. Messy Middle – The chaotic phase where things feel uncertain and unclear.

3. New Beginnings – Stepping into something new and exciting.

Transitions happen roughly every 18 months to 2 years and can last anywhere from 2 to 5 years. When they’re intense—like a lifequake—they can shake us to the core but also lead to incredible growth and renewal.

• Here’s the thing: these stages aren’t linear. You might bounce between them or get stuck in one for a while. Research shows that:

  • 4 in 10 people get stuck in Long Endings (struggling to let go).

  • Half of us get stuck in the Messy Middle (feeling lost or overwhelmed).

  Take a moment to reflect: which stage do you tend to get stuck in? And which one feels like your strength?

• How to Transition Better

  Here are some tips to navigate life transitions more effectively:

  1. Know Your Strengths (Superpower Phase): Figure out which transition phase you’re naturally good at handling.

  2. Identify Your Weak Spot (Kryptonite Phase): Recognize where you tend to get stuck so you can work through it.

  3. Uncover Hidden Patterns: Explore what holds you back—fears, habits, or beliefs—and address them head-on.

• Steps to Survive and Thrive During Uncertainty

  If you’re feeling unsteady right now, here are some practical steps to help you move forward:

  • Do Inner Work: Reflect on your strengths, values, and fears to gain clarity and break free from being stuck.

  • Get Clear on What Matters: Take time to understand your needs, desires, values, and purpose.

  • Engage in Meaningful Outer Work: Whether it’s paid work or volunteering, focus on making an impact that aligns with your goals.

  • Take Intentional Action: Small, thoughtful steps create momentum and build confidence.

  • Feel Your Emotions: Allow yourself to process emotions in each stage of transition—rest when needed and practice self-care.

  • Look for Glimmers: Find small moments of joy or hope that can motivate you (more on Glimmers here!).

  • Create New Beginnings: Once you’ve worked through the tough parts, embrace the fresh start waiting for you.

Susan’s offerings include:

Growth, Transition and Enneagram Coaching// SE Somatic Experiencing (trauma and childhood wounding healing) sessions.

For information, please email susan@intentionalgrowth.org or schedule a free Connect Call here.